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Chaos of Insecurity

Updated: Apr 19

We all experience moments of both confidence and insecurity throughout our lives. These feelings can fluctuate depending on circumstances and personal experiences.


While feeling insecure is natural, consistently attempting to conceal or compensate for self-doubt creates chaos. 🤨


Insecure types are extremely risk-averse and unproductive. Some can be downright nasty or display abusive behaviors. 👎


According to Harvard career expert Amy Gallo, behaviors that signal insecurity include:


  • They are overly concerned about what others think of them.

  • They never express a firm opinion.

  • They suffer from a chronic inability to make decisions, even when the choices have little consequence.

  • They frequently try to change the direction of projects and meetings.

  • They put other people down to make themselves look more important.

  • They constantly talk about how busy they are (when they’re actually not) to show that they are in demand.


How do we handle insecure people we need to work with? Let’s unpack this. 💼


Working with insecure individuals requires patience, empathy, and effective communication strategies [and a firm handle on your confident behaviors]. 😃


Here are some tips:


☑️ Show empathy: Understand that insecurity often stems from deep-seated fears and insecurities.


☑️ Call it out: Don’t allow them to verbalize their defeatist attitudes or opinions about themselves or their work.


☑️ Provide reassurance: Recognize their strengths and achievements. Help them see their value and abilities.


☑️ Offer constructive feedback: Provide feedback in a constructive and supportive manner, focusing on areas for improvement while also acknowledging their efforts and progress.


☑️ Lead by example: Demonstrate confidence, resilience, and positivity in your own behavior and interactions. Serve as a role model for how to navigate challenges and setbacks with grace and confidence.


☑️ Be transparent in how you communicate: Insecure people tend to see gaps in arguments, so structure how you communicate with them. Use The TRUTH Model to frame up the conversation. Use language that affirms your confidence. [these kinds of conversations are a good opportunity for an AND].


👉 This is my truth.

👉 What is your truth?

👉 Where can we find common ground or a shared reality?


☑️ Over-invest in 1:1s. A lack of one-on-one syndication is one reason why strategies fail in companies.


👉 Have a casual meeting with them or suggest a coffee break/walk and talk. Use this as a forum to get to know them better. Ask powerful questions.


☑️ Show that you are not a threat: You want them to think of you as an ally, not a rival. Pay compliments and express gratitude and appreciation: “I admire what you do, and I’m excited to continue learning from you.”



Powerful Perspectives
THRIVE model

POWERFUL PERSPECTIVE  - We build confidence and overcome insecurities through self-awareness, self-acceptance, and personal growth [above-the-line thinking]. 

I’ve curated the best from my coaching practice, thought leadership and unique development programs to create something that takes the guesswork out of how to manage the chaos creators and the emotional chaos they incite - with kindness, confidence, and compassion.

Chaos Creator's Toolkit



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