Spectator or Champion

Godson Bodie with my book

Two dear friends honored me in a way I never expected: They each asked me to be godmother to their sons. 🪬

The kind of ask stops you in your tracks.

When you say "yes" to something like that, you do it with your whole heart. 💖 💖

Because it’s not just a title to me. It’s a role rooted in integrity, stability, and moral leadership.

But what happens when your life starts to fall apart? 🌪️

I was navigating divorce. My confidence was in pieces. I could barely lead myself or parent my son the way I wanted. How could I possibly be a guiding light for someone else’s child? So I avoided, made excuses.

The guilt followed me.

Not just guilt — shame, too.

Guilt says, I didn’t do enough.

Shame says, I’m not enough.

And both of those are rooted in fear. Fear that I wasn’t moral or worthy enough.

Once I started to pull myself together — still a work in progress, by the way — I had to get curious about the root of the shame.

These boys had incredible mothers. Women who showed up with honesty, strength, and heart.

To be clear, I wasn’t just comparing myself — I was questioning if I even belonged in the same circle.

This isn’t just about the roles we step into — it’s about the weight of expectation that comes with them, and the quiet war we wage inside when we don’t believe we measure up.

Let’s Unpack It! 💼

THRIVE Model

That fear? It lives below the line in our ego/instinct.

It clouds our thinking, traps us in loops, and keeps us small.

But from Powerful Perspectives, we learn something crucial:

Fear isn’t the enemy.

It’s an indicator.

It can either pull us down [and keep us stuck] — or it can motivate us in service of truth, connection, compassion and growth [above the line].

It can be the nudge that says, It’s time to step up and make amends. Own your story. Let them see the real you, complete with flaws, strengths, everything. Give them space to decide who you truly are, beyond the surface.

That’s what true leadership looks like.

Not perfection.

Presence.

Not about controlling every outcome —

but owning your choices, your voice, your space.

It’s the same in co-parenting.

You might not always feel worthy of the title, especially when things get messy or unbalanced. But your power isn’t in pretending everything’s fine. It’s in how you respond to the chaos with curiosity and courage.

So no, I wasn’t the perfect godmother.

But I kept growing... And now, I keep telling the truth. I keep learning how to show up, share my story [now a book], and cheer them on from afar.

And that’s what I’d want those young men to witness anyway.

If you're holding guilt for the times you didn’t show up the way you wanted to — let me say this:

Even if you’ve questioned your worth…

You can still show up with intention — one choice, one conversation at a time.

That’s integrity, too.

And that, my friend, is leadership above the line.

---

📌 [The Powerful Perspective] Being a lighthouse doesn’t mean you haven't weathered the storm. It means you learned to stand still and shine anyway.

Supporting character in your own story? I've got tools for that.

👎 Challenging Co-Parent?

👉 Take the quiz: Will your co-parent ever stop driving you crazy? [Yes, it’s as honest as it sounds.]

👊 Leading a New Team?

👉 Grab the Empowered Communicator’s Toolkit and learn how to lead without losing your voice.