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Forcing Forgiveness

Updated: Apr 19

Sticks and Stones
Forgiveness can't be forced

I headed to Tennessee to attend the court hearing for the drunk driver who slammed head-on into our vehicle last year. I’ve struggled to forgive her for the emotional and physical chaos she created in our lives, but as I prepare for the wheels of justice to turn, I’ve discovered several hidden lessons that apply to life - and work.

Several supportive souls suggested that forgiving the offender would allow me to move forward – and I agree. The power of forgiveness is profound, but there is no such thing as forced forgiveness.

It’s the equivalent of applying pressure to a bone too soon—it hampers the healing and may cause more pain in the long run. Just as a fractured bone needs time, care, and the right conditions to mend, forgiveness also requires due process.

That process can feel chaotic.

But coping with the chaos of fear, trauma, and setbacks can strengthen our ability to adapt. Embracing vulnerability builds resiliency and our capacity to navigate life's unexpected curves. Each step forward allows us the opportunity to rewrite the story in search of powerful perspectives.

Resiliency isn’t just about moving on; it’s also about growing stronger from the experience, harnessing newfound wisdom, and using it to navigate future challenges.

The lessons learned in our personal lives often translate into the workplace. The ability to navigate setbacks, adapt to change, and bounce back stronger doesn't confine itself to our struggles; it's a skill set that profoundly influences our professional demeanor and success.

Here’s a list of curated ideas to help build resiliency. Let me know if any of these resonate with you.

  1. View setbacks as impermanent.

  2. Reframe setbacks as opportunities for growth.

  3. Manage strong emotions and impulses.

  4. Focus on events you can control.

  5. Avoid the temptation to see yourself as a victim.

  6. Develop a growth mindset.

  7. Allow yourself to express and feel your emotions.

  8. Take a walk and get moving.

  9. Talk with someone you love and trust.

  10. Unplug devices and give yourself a moment to reflect.

  11. Go within and connect with your higher power.

  12. Write it down.

  13. Reconnect with others.

  14. Be kind to yourself. Ease up on your expectations.

  15. Listen to empowering music.

  16. Take deep breaths. Breathing deeply helps to cleanse and heal.

  17. Take some inspired action. When you’re feeling overwhelmed, doing one small thing can help you move forward.


The Powerful Perspectives
Thrive Model

Forgiveness is a form of resiliency. It is also a powerful perspective that suggests that when we allow ourselves to "let go of the chaos of resentment or anger," we free ourselves to fill that space with joy.

I’ve taken the best from coaching practices and curated world-class training and development programs to create something that takes the guesswork out of how to manage the chaos creators and the emotional chaos they incite - with kindness, confidence, and compassion.

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