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De-Escalate Chaos Like a Pro

Updated: May 16

Holding Space

The difference between a Chaos Creator and YOU is your ability to maintain control of your emotions [highlighted in a previous Transformation Tuesday here 👉 on the blog, or here 👉 on You Tube ▶️].

But what if that Chaos Creator is still poking at your patience and you’re about to lose it?

🎯 It is time to DE-ESCALATE those chaotic interactions or behaviors that lead to conflict.

🧳 This can feel like a tall task, so Let’s unpack it...

At its core, de-escalation is a form of mindful communication. It may involve some degree of self-control as you remain outwardly calm despite your frustration. This also involves a deep awareness of yourself and the tendencies of your Chaos Creator.

When you notice the conversation heating up, It can be helpful to switch to a different mode of communication.

Here are three time-tested tips to implement in the moment!

☑️ Provide Personal Space: When attempting to de-escalate a conflicting situation, provide as much personal space as possible. Taking a step back [literally] communicates an openness that is subtle, yet effective.

☑️ Focus on the Process: Part of the de-escalation process involves focusing on the process more than emotions. This doesn’t mean you ignore your feelings. Instead, acknowledge them and how they are affecting you at that moment so you can process them more effectively later.

☑️ Ignore Challenging Questions: One of the main goals in a stressful situation is to lower the temperature - not necessarily to immediately solve the problem. Acknowledge the other party’s statements while informing them of your desire to work to find a solution. Don’t let the tactic trigger you.

📌 [PRO TIP] Working towards solutions can help you learn how to approach future dialogue and mitigate conflict. Some of my go-to problem-solving phrases include:

• Here’s how I think we can collaborate.

• Now that we understand each other, let’s make a plan.

• What would you think if we…?

• It may be worth thinking about…

• Do you have any ideas about…?


The THRIVE model

POWERFUL PERSPECTIVE - Seeking to understand is an [above-the-line] attitude that helps us to THRIVE.

I’ve taken the best from coaching practices and curated world-class training and development programs to create something that takes the guesswork out of how to manage the chaos creators and the emotional chaos they incite - with kindness, confidence, and compassion.

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