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"I DON'T KNOW" Chaos

Updated: May 2

I don't know

❓ Are you able to handle this project?

“I don’t know”

❓ When are you most productive?

“I don’t know”

❓ What do you value most?

“I don’t know”

“I don’t know” can be a productive place to begin when beginning a new project, job, or relationship. Suspending our opinions can create a space for creativity and curiosity [above-the-line thinking].

“I don’t know” can also create chaos by becoming an excuse [below-the-line] to engage in a conversation or take responsibility for your thoughts, feelings, or actions.

When you encounter a chaotic “I don’t know” it’s time to power up communications. ⛽

Communication is more than just words exchanged—it's a superpower that can transform chaos into clarity and conflict into collaboration.

Modern researcher Albert Mehrabian has discovered that communication is:

•55% nonverbal [body language]

•38% vocal [tone, volume, pace]

•7% [words only]

🎯 How do we Power Up Communication with a Chaos Creator?

We engage in assertive communication.

Assertiveness aims to make sure we are heard and treated fairly.

Let’s unpack it...

First, acknowledge that it is not about trying to be liked or keeping the peace, nor is it concerned with making everyone else happy.

Powering up our communications is a powerful tool that helps us to speak up and be heard. It is a way to say, “This is who I am, this is what I value, and this is how I want to be treated” while remaining aware of the feelings and needs of others.

So how do we become more assertive? Two Tips.

☑️ Assertive language. Assertive language is often simplified statements of fact. The basic assertiveness formula has four steps: (1) here's what happened, (2) here's how I feel about it, (3) here's why I feel that way, so (4) here's what I want.

☑️ Body Language. Ways to develop assertive body language:

  • Strong eye contact

  • An honest, genuine smile

  • Shoulders back but relaxed

  • When sitting, be straight and tall

  • Gesture with your hands comfortably but not frequently (relax them at your sides when they are not needed)

📌 [PRO TIP] Use verbs that are more definite and emphatic when you communicate. This will help you to send a clear message and avoid "sugar-coating" your message so much that people are left confused by what it is that you want from them.

To do this, use verbs like:

  • "will" instead of "could" or "should,"

  • "want" instead of "need," or

  • "choose to" instead of "have to."


POWERFUL PERSPECTIVE - Assertiveness is based on balance and is a powerful perspective that affirms our worth, improves communication and connection, and leads us to THRIVE.

I’ve taken the best from coaching practices and curated world-class training and development programs to create something that takes the guesswork out of how to manage the chaos creators and the emotional chaos they incite - with kindness, confidence, and compassion.

Download the toolkit here  👉 Empowered Communicator's Toolkit to Conquer Chaos

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