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Validate the Creator, not the Chaos


  • Politicians.

  • Self-serving Lawyers.

  • Overly-aggressive salespeople.

  • Toxic, controlling ex's

 

...Chaos Creator's exist everywhere. 👎

 

While some Chaos Creators seem to thrive on disruption and division, others are simply unaware of their destructive or insensitive behaviors.

 

Whether it's in the workplace, at home, or within social circles, whether intentional or not, these chaos creators can leave us feeling drained.

 

But I've discovered one of the easiest and most effective ways to take back your power and plug the energy drain is to do this:

 

Validate them.

Seriously! It's like the magic eight-ball. 🎱

 

While it may seem counterintuitive to validate someone who is causing chaos, acknowledging their thoughts, feelings, and experiences in a genuine and empathetic manner sends a message that YOU are seeking to understand and accept them as a fellow human.

 

I’m not suggesting you agree with them but validating them helps lower the temperature so you can work toward constructive communication.

 

Instead of fueling the chaos, validation allows us to find common ground, which IS true power...

 

 🎯 How do we effectively validate others? Let’s unpack it...

 

Here are two tips:

 

☑️ Actively listen without judgment. Pay attention to what the other person is saying and validate their feelings by acknowledging them. For example, you might say something like,  

 

"I can understand why you feel that way," or

"It sounds like you're going through a tough time," or

"I can see you're passionate about this."

 

☑️ Ask open-ended questions to show interest and encourage further dialogue. This demonstrates that you are genuinely interested in understanding their perspective.

 

Powerful questions begin with HOW or WHAT, never why…

 

📌 [INSIDER TIP] To validate that chaos creator who seems immune to rational, calm approaches, try out my favorite question:

 

What will you have when you have what you want?

 

When you validate someone, you're saying, "Hey, I get it." It's not about agreeing, rather it’s about seeking to understand.



 

The THRIVE model

🌟 POWERFUL PERSPECTIVE  - Validation is a powerful perspective that begins with awareness and leads to [above-the-line] acceptance that guides us to THRIVE.

 

Validation is one of the tools in my 6-step guide to Conquering Chaos. Find the other 5 tools here 👉 Empowered Communicator's Toolkit

 

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