top of page

The Chaos of Comparison

Updated: 5 days ago

My Facebook account was hacked last year and then I was banned from Facebook for posting “inappropriate content” [thank you, hacker]. 🫤

I couldn’t get back into Facebook because my email was associated with a banned account which forced a social media detox.

I missed some of the interactions and photos of family and friends’ adventures but otherwise didn’t miss it.

When I went back on social media, I made it a goal to stop comparing myself to others. And let me tell you: It hasn’t been easy. With 24/7 access to view the best parts of everyone else's lives, I know exactly how I measure up against every other coach, speaker, or author with a social media account. 😬

It’s really hard to be on social media and not compare yourself to others. It's something we've all done at some point, whether consciously or not.

But is it helpful, harmful, or a bit of both? Let’s unpack it.

➕ Pros:

Motivation and Inspiration: Sometimes seeing someone else's achievements or progress can light a fire under us. It can inspire us to set higher goals and strive for more in our own lives.

Learning and Growth: Comparisons can provide valuable insights. We might notice areas where we excel and areas where we could improve, leading to personal growth and development.

Social Norms and Feedback: Comparing ourselves to others can help us understand social norms and expectations. It can also offer feedback on our behaviors, helping us adjust if necessary.

Community and Connection: Shared experiences of comparison can create bonds among people. Knowing that others struggle with similar feelings can foster empathy and understanding.

➖ Cons:

Negative Self-Image: One of the biggest pitfalls of comparison is the potential for damaging our self-esteem. When we constantly measure ourselves against others and come up short, it can lead to feelings of inadequacy and worthlessness.

Unhealthy Competition: Comparison can sometimes fuel unhealthy competition, leading to jealousy, resentment, and even sabotaging behaviors toward others.

Distorted Reality: We often compare our inner struggles to others' external appearances.

Stagnation and Discontent: Constantly comparing ourselves to others can detract from our journey.

So, where does that leave us? Is comparison entirely good or bad? Well, like most things in life, it's a bit of both. ⚖️

POWERFUL PERSPECTIVE - The key is to question whether our comparison tendencies are rooted in [above-the-line thinking]. Consider these powerful perspectives.

☑️ Self-Awareness: Recognize when the comparison is motivating [above the line] and when it's detrimental [below the line].

☑️ Gratitude and Acceptance: Practice gratitude for what you have and acceptance of who you are. Celebrate your successes and unique qualities without needing to measure up to others.

☑️ Focus on Growth: Shift your focus from comparing outcomes to focusing on growth and progress. Set goals based on your values and aspirations, rather than external benchmarks.

Being aware of it is the first step to choosing a Powerful Perspective that leads us to thrive. 🚀


powerful perspectives
The THRIVE model

Powerful Perspectives begin with awareness and move upward to help us THRIVE.

I’ve curated the best from my coaching practice, thought leadership, and unique development programs to create something that takes the guesswork out of how to manage the chaos creators and the emotional chaos they incite - with kindness, confidence, and compassion.


bottom of page