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Cringe Chaos - One Upping Mentality

Updated: Jan 27

One upping visual with chef aprons
One upping snippet from SNL

My ex had a habit that generated an emotional response that I call cringe chaos.

If person A had an excellent week-long vacation renting a cabin on a lake, he would share that he owned a lakefront property and spent entire summers enjoying the water.

If person B got a new phone, he would have gotten the more expensive model.

If person C had a difficult person at their meeting, he would have had at least 3 or more challenging people at his meeting.

Yes, he is that guy. He’s a one-upper.

One-upping mentality is when someone consistently tries to outdo or overshadow others in conversation or actions. At best, it was cringy. At worst, it was triggering and led to uncomfortable chaos.

Addressing cringe chaos doesn't require us to be unkind or feel frustrated - and if you’re still reading, you probably know someone similar.

So how do we tackle cringe chaos? Two ways.

First, let them one up. Their behavior informs you that they are insecure and will not likely celebrate your success or achievements. They aren’t your people so don’t waste your energy on them.

Second, create a boundary or distance. If you work with them, don’t share the good parts of your life with them. If you’re connected on social media, unfriend, or unfollow.

If you're related to them or if they somehow pierce your inner circle or intrude on your conversations, keep your interactions short and simple by responding with, “That’s nice” or “That’s good to know.” Nothing more. Then walk away.

A one-up mentality is a form of comparison rooted in judgment that leads to imbalance and a limited mindset.


Powerful Perspectives lead us to thrive
Thrive Model


When we recognize comparison as an over-compensation for a lack of confidence, it empowers us to move from below the line in ego to above the line in powerful perspectives that encourage us to adapt and thrive.

I’ve curated the best from my coaching practice, thought leadership, and unique development programs to create something that takes the guesswork out of how to manage the chaos creators and the emotional chaos they incite - with kindness, confidence, and compassion.

Chaos Creator's Toolkit

👉 Download the free toolkit here >> Empowered Communicator's Toolkit to Conquer Chaos Creators

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