The truth about difficult people

When Temple Grandin was 15, she spent a summer on her aunt’s cattle ranch where she experienced her first close-up encounter with beef cattle.

She watched cattle being herded into chutes so vets could give shots, check injuries, and provide routine care.

The cattle pushed back, and the ranchers assumed they were just being stubborn.

Because she thinks in pictures — a visual mind shaped by autism — she noticed things others missed. Tiny details that spiked panic in the animals.

The cattle weren’t fighting because they were “difficult.”

They were fighting because they were scared.

👉 They didn’t understand the process.

👉 They couldn’t see what was coming next.

All they knew was noise, pressure, unfamiliar movement, and zero control.

Instead of pushing them harder, Temple reimagined the experience that began a revolution in how ranchers handled cattle through the chute.

Temple’s insight wasn’t really about cattle — it was about fear, perception, and the nervous system.

And honestly? Humans aren’t that different.

Let’s Unpack It! 💼

When we’re pushed, rushed, cornered, confused, or overwhelmed, we push back from below the line where fear runs the show.

We resist.

We get reactive.

We shut down or flare up.

We interpret pressure as a threat.

Below the line is where we brace for survival instead of breath with ease.

It’s not because we’re [or they are] “difficult.”

It’s because something inside us [them] feels unsafe, unseen, unheard, or overloaded.

Here’s the truth:

Behavior is always communication.

And fear shows up loud.

In leadership, this shows up in the employee who “drags their feet” — but really, they don’t understand the project or are terrified of disappointing you.

In co-parenting, it shows up in the ex who stonewalls — not because they enjoy conflict, but because they don’t have the tools to communicate or problem-solve.

But — and this is the transformation — once we are aware of what’s fueling the behavior, we have the power to replace judgment with compassion, and chaos with calm.

I am not pretending this is easy. But it’s worth the work.

Because every time you choose to lead above the line — whether with your team, your ex, or your kids — you create safety instead of fear, solutions instead of standoffs, and a common ground that expands our humanity.

That’s the payoff.

That’s the growth.

That’s the kind of leadership and co-parenting that actually changes lives.

That's what Powerful Perspectives are all about...